The Crazy Train

I got married right out of high school to my first husband. My home life was a little troubled and I was brought up thinking that if you could not afford college then you found a husband and settled down. So as soon as I graduated I had a full time job, went to school part time and went to a few discos hunting for a good man.

He drove a tanker truck for a local milk company. He had a job, I had a job. He rented a house with his sister from his mother. I kicked out his sister got married and moved in. I was now a grown woman at the age of 19.

We had a one night honeymoon at The Friendship Inn and went to Six Flags. It was LGB day. When we got back to the house he told me there were sheets in the bathtub that he had puked on the night before. He also asked me if I knew a girl named Tammy. He met her at the strip club and she said she went to school with me. Now that I think about it, they must have hooked up. Oh boy,married life.

It was about a month into the marriage and I heard him on the phone talking to someone. He was going on a long haul and needed medicine to keep him going. He drained the bank account all but $40 to make this transaction. I cried and yelled and told him drugs were not acceptable. He got in the truck and was gone for a month. I went to the store and spent $20 on groceries for myself for a month. peanut butter and crackers go a long way.

We stayed married for 26 years. He later worked for the railroad. We had babies, we lost some babies, he has affairs, he got redeemed, he gave expensive presents and begged for forgiveness. I tolerated this life out of fear and greed for stability.

I sold the house we raised our children in to a young couple. This couple had some extra cats that they needed to give away. Guess who answered the Facebook ad. Yes, that old ex-husband and his new wife. The couple told me that I had definitely married up this time. It was apparent that my ex and his new love had an addiction problem.

I don’t have hate for this man but my heart has also grown very cold to him. We have not spoken in over 10 years. I have pitty on my children for his condition. I hid many things from them about their father. I just had to put my life back in working order.

Now I live with a wonderful man who adores me and I adore him. We ride on a different kind of crazy train dealing with age related problems but I would not take the world for him. As a matter of fact, he is the person I bought the peanut butter and crackers from.

Stay tuned. I have many life stories to tell. I am old and really don’t care any more about what judgement readers pass on me. I am an open book. This train ride will be a good one.

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